Tricia Sciortino:
Welcome back, Carrie, to the One Next Step, and thanks for agreeing to answer one more bonus question for us. I do wanna circle back to the amazing book you wrote, All In. As I feel like anybody listening to our episode about it should be intrigued. And I have one great question for you, honestly. So it all sounds great, but there are things that will prevent this from happening, right? There are barriers that will prevent people, leaders, humans from going all in. And so whether that’s work or life, I would love for you to talk a little bit about the barriers that prevent us from being able to go all in.
Carrie Fabris:
Yeah, great question. Great bonus question. So my book is about my journey five, a five year journey, of personal and professional development for myself, getting the career that I wanted. Having to be responsible, but not wanting to have to be responsible and a lot of personal healing along the way. When I talk about going all in, I mean, look at the pain, face it, honor it, and then go through it. And no one wakes up every morning going, okay, I’m so ready for pain today. I can’t wait to lean in. Go all in on pain. The thing is, is that joy, sorry if this sounds cheesy and cliche, it’s so true. Joy is waiting for every single one of us on the other side of healing from that pain. So going all in is around, going through the pain to find that juiced up life, okay?
Carrie Fabris:
Professionally, so at work, as far as some barriers that leaders may have personally and professionally, it’s the mindset, okay? If we approach something with a limited mindset versus that open growth mindset, we’re not gonna get very far. If you’re not growing, you’re dying. The minute something stops growing, it starts the dying process. And so we need to continue to have that growth mindset. Also at work, a barrier is quite frankly the culture. If you work at a company and the culture is not awesome or great, then no matter how passionate you are, you might get exhausted after a while just trying to be heard and trying to initiate and make a difference, which is frustrating. So one thing I tell leaders is bring it back to just your team. Be responsible for the culture, you and your direct reports, and try not to worry too much about everything moving around you. Just focus on what you can control.
Carrie Fabris:
I think a barrier is a lot of times we focus on what we can’t control. Personally and at home, again, it’s that mindset and we all have this jerk that lives in our head that the lizard brain, I recommend people name that, that voice in our head so you can tell it to go away. It’s not your friend, it’s not any of our friends, it’s all the self-talk, all the negative stuff. And we listen to it more than anything. Like I ask people, I’m like, ‘So would you actually hang out with a friend? And all they did was complain and moan and groan and were super unkind to you. Would you spend like all this quality time with that person?’ Of course, everyone says, ‘Absolutely not.’ Why do you do that inside your head? Because that’s what you’re doing.
Carrie Fabris:
You’re hanging out with this person who’s not very kind to you. So that’s a barrier is we’re not, we’re not kind to ourselves. Kind of back to that self care I mentioned earlier, it’s also with the company, you keep, you know, level up, surround yourself with people that you look up to, that you want, you aspire to be like. And then I would say like the last point to make about this is the fight between the lizard brain and fear. So this was a huge aha in my all in journey. I was incredibly fear riddled, fear driven everything was a panic, high anxiety. And I realized that fear was — I was getting all of this stuff kind of bringing me to my knees with all this pain because fear was trying to get my attention. Fear is your friend. Fear is over here going, ‘Hello, you’re supposed to be over here, not where you are. You’re not, you’re miserable, you’re unhappy. So why are you on this path? You’re supposed to be over here.’
Carrie Fabris:
But we’re so scared to hold our nose and jump. So when we change that, we reframe fear in our minds and realize that fear is our friend, not our foe or enemy, if you will. It is magical how things start to show up for you. The good stuff starts to show up for you. So going all in is really seeing the pain and doing something about it. And with it not just brushing it under the rug, it just gets bigger and harrier and nastier when we ignore it. And we just find coping mechanisms. So that’s, that’s what I mean about going all in it. There’s a lot of pain there, but there’s, you know, the no pain, no gain kind of thing. The joy that’s waiting for you is awesome is what I would say.
Tricia Sciortino:
Brilliant. I absolutely love it.
Carrie Fabris:
Well thanks for reading my book too,
Tricia Sciortino:
Yes, it’s great guys. Pick it up, truly. And I appreciate this conversation. I appreciate you hanging around for this one last question cause I feel it’s really impactful enlightening for our listeners to hear it. So thank you again for your time today.
Carrie Fabris:
My pleasure. Thanks for having me.
Tricia Sciortino:
Yes! Thank you for joining our bonus next step. Join us next week for more practical tips and actionable tools to advance your business one step at a time. Start by making today count.
