Your spouse is an enormous part of your life, and so is your business. Naturally, your spouse will have some kind of involvement in your work. But there’s a fine line between being too involved and setting healthy boundaries to ensure separation between these two huge parts of your life.
In this episode, I’m joined by Sway and OL Buckley, entrepreneurs and hosts of the super-popular Marriedpreneur Life podcast. As a married couple, Sway and OL know a thing or two about navigating the career-relationship balance – and they’re here to share the wisdom they’ve gathered over the years.
Before discussing the ties between marriage and work, let’s break down the three dynamics we see most frequently.
First, there are “spousal-prenuers,” couples with one partner who works a nine-to-five, and one who operates the business.
Second, there are “indie-preneurs,” where both spouses run separate businesses.
Third, there are “couple-preneurs,” a married couple that runs the same business together, like Sway and OL. There are also many couples who transition between these dynamics – something else Sway and OL have faced in their relationship.
While these different dynamics come with different experiences, there are three overarching pieces of advice Sway and OL have for navigating the career-relationship balance:
1. If one of you is called to be an entrepreneur, then your family is called as well.
That doesn’t mean your spouse has to be in the daily grind of the business, but it does mean you need to figure out what their level of input and availability is – and what that looks like for your relationship. Your business will affect your whole family, so make sure your significant other is involved to the degree that makes them comfortable. Having a spouse there to encourage you, support you, and offer insight along the way can make a world of difference as you run your company. This is especially true when it comes to discussing goals and business-building.
While boundaries are essential, you have two choices as a married couple with at least one entrepreneur: grow together, or grow apart. Even if only one spouse runs the business, that business will ultimately impact the marriage. Keeping this in mind, it’s especially important to have clarity around boundaries and even communication styles when having business-related conversations with your partner.
2. Where there is weigh-in, there is buy-in.
When you give an uninvolved spouse a degree of buy-in, that builds value down the road. They feel important and appreciated. Even if they don’t have anything to add, they need to know that they have access and always have the option to give their input. They might have a different skill set and see things completely differently than you do, so it’s important for them to feel comfortable sharing.
Think about this: you got married for a reason, and you made an intentional choice to become one. Whether it’s business or something else, sharing things with your spouse is part of your commitment to each other. Consider what you’re building – is it just a profitable business, or are you seeking to build a family legacy where your business is an underpinning to a bigger end?
A helpful way to toe the balance between oversharing and including your partner is by making it abundantly clear to your spouse that they have access to know – rather than dumping work grievances without intention.
3. The first rule of working with your spouse: No talking about working on date nights!
Set rules for your nights out. You’ve paid for a babysitter and have time for relaxing, so keep work out of the discussion. Plan ahead on what you’re going to talk about that doesn’t involve business. Get to know your spouse better, ask questions about their past and future, and talk to them about how they’ve changed. The key is to be intentional about learning about your spouse outside of their business life.
In a dynamic where at least one spouse runs a company, it’s easy to fall into the trap of losing the marriage in the business. Even Sway and OL have to be intentional about this. As Sway says, “We have to hold each other accountable when either one of us, it even sounds anything remotely close to business. Like, ‘Before you finish that thought, is this a business thought?”
Even so, sometimes something is related to business, but is more about the connection to your relationship. If that’s the case, it doesn’t have to be off the table – but you should make the distinction.
To learn more and see how you can put these insights into practice, download the Marriedpreneur checklist, or access this resource directly on onenextsteppodcast.com.
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