This is the first in a three-part blog series based around the pervasive lie women tell themselves:
You know – the thing we often say when we're drowning and refusing to ask for help? Yeah, that one.
For context, consider this. A group of women was asked, “What gets in the way of you asking for and accepting help?”
“I don’t want to bother people.”
“My issue is not that important.”
“I don’t want to appear like I don’t have it all together.”
“I should be able to figure it out on my own.”
“I feel stupid asking for help.”
This is what we're trying to combat and re-wire with our 'I'm fine' series. So here is how BELAY CEO Tricia Sciortino would argue her case to a woman denying her need for a VA – as someone who has learned to lean into her VA when she's not actually 'fine' – and how her VA has helped her actually be fine.
What is decidedly not 'fine' about trying to do it all?
“You cannot – and will not – get very far on your own. You need people. Everyone hits their lid of personal capacity eventually. You’re not benefiting yourself or your organization if you are too bogged down with tasks to execute on The Next Big Thing.
“The burnout that will inevitably result from trying to do it all will lead to decreased performance and poor decision-making.
“We need to know when to get out of our own way. We cannot rise if we stay down in the weeds.”
Why do you think women are so much more prone to trying to do it all, including work better delegated to a VA?
“We are trying to be the caregiver, the mom, the BFF, the leader, the employee. We feel responsible to lead at home and perform at work.
“So I think many women view it as a weakness if they’re not able to tend to every little detail, or they fear being out of touch if they step away from the day-to-day. It can also feel indulgent or irresponsible to pay someone else to do things that you are capable of doing yourself.”
What can a woman gain from recognizing she needs help and accepting it?
“Getting out of the weeds of your day-to-day will give you room to take on what’s above you because you cannot grow personally or professionally when you are spending hours on administrative tasks.
“Your business has met the success it has largely due to your unique insight and expertise. It will continue to grow when you are able to work within this zone regularly without being bogged down by tasks that can be delegated to others.
Simply put: We are not in this alone. Teams and partnerships outperform in all areas of life and work. Humans were designed to need other humans. So accept it, lean in and be vulnerable.”
How can someone know – really know – it's time to accept help?
“When you find yourself buried in tasks that are draining your energy rather than energizing you – that’s when.
“When you’re spending more time doing instead of leading. Get help earlier than you think. You can’t do it all and even if you can, you shouldn’t.”
Is there a trick or mindset shift that you could suggest to help someone get over the guilt or fear of delegating — and accepting — VA help?
"It's inefficient and counterproductive to spend time on things you are not good at and/or don’t enjoy doing when there is someone out there who is an expert and loves doing it.
“Let’s put it this way: Think about what your hourly rate would be. Does it make sense to bill at that rate for things like scheduling meetings and booking travel?
“Because while delegation may not come naturally to many women, it’s a learned skill that can be perfected.
“It requires discipline, consistency and patience; it’s an ongoing process. As your role, responsibilities, and organization evolve, it's important to regularly re-evaluate where you truly add value, and where you can step out and empower someone else to add value.
“Delegating tasks that you could do but choose to delegate energizes and transfers knowledge to your team.”
If you’re ready to actually be fine with the help of a VA, learn everything you need to know about how to work with one in Tricia’s new book, Rise Up & Lead Well: How Leveraging An Assistant Will Change Your Life & Maximize Your Time.
And keep reading the other installments in our ‘I’m fine’ series …