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Exceptional Results Take Warmth, Energy & Authority

Let’s talk about emotional intelligence.

Any mathematicians out there? Let’s take a look at this equation:

Self-awareness + awareness of others = emotional intelligence

Now, let’s break it down.


Self-Awareness Addend: When you take the time to examine yourself – your emotions, how you interact with others, how you manage frustrations … 

Awareness of Others Addend: When you take the time to understand others – their emotions, how they interact, how they manage frustrations … 

EQ Sum: You’re in a much better position to deepen your relationships with others and grow your productivity as a result.


Aside: Distance learning with our kids has done a lot to help us brush up on our arithmetic vocabulary. Pretty impressive, huh?

We digress.

Going Deeper: Breaking Down Awareness

Now, let’s break down the self-awareness part of the equation.

There are several definitions of self-awareness but they all boil down to knowing yourself and how you come across and relate to others.

Here are some of the critical components of self-awareness.

Self-examination. Ask yourself some questions about how you recognize feelings, strengths, and weaknesses. Examine your comfort level in interacting with others.

Perception. Think about how you come across to others. Ask yourself how you think others see you and if you practice self-control with your words and actions.

Gut-Check Questions:

    • Are you able to recognize feelings and differentiate between them to know why you’re feeling them and how they affect you and those around you?
    • How do you regard yourself? Do you like yourself, warts and all?
    • What are your strengths?
    • What are your areas of growth?
    • What is your comfort level in interacting with others?

Now, let’s break down your awareness of others.

People want to feel valued. They want to be seen and heard – not necessarily in a big, showy way, but in a way that lets them know that they matter.

Here are some of the critical components of awareness of others.

Make eye contact. It says, “I am present. I am listening. You are important.”

Don’t interrupt. If this is something you do, kick that habit today! Demonstrate that you are a great listener by hearing what they have to say and then share your thoughts.

Avoid arguments and debates. If you disagree or see another way of doing something, have a conversation instead.

Demonstrate empathy. Understand other people’s feelings as if they were your own to fuel the connection and help people feel included.

Be solution-oriented. We’ve all been around people who find it very easy to complain about an issue, but not provide any suggestions for improving the situation. Simply put, don’t be that person. Put some thought into a solution and be prepared to offer it when you discuss the issue with your client.

Actively listen. Don’t overthink the interaction or what you’re going to say. Be present, listen, and ask great questions. That will help you avoid overthinking or reading something into a conversation.

Gut-Check Questions: 

    • How do you think people see you? Is this how you want them to see you?
    • Are you respectful with your words and actions?
    • And speaking of words and actions, do you practice self-control with them?
    • Are you able to share your opinions assertively yet accepting that others share opinions as well?
    • Are you able to be self-reliant or might others see you as dependent?

Hungry for more? Ready to learn how to improve your ability to reach, persuade, and influence others? Want to stand out, excel and get the attention of those who will help you grow?

Say no more.

On the latest episode of our podcast, One Next Step, our esteemed guest Steve Herz discussed what one next step you can take to using authority, warmth and energy to get exceptional results.

You can do it – and Steve can help!